Turning 55 bothered me. Turning 50 didn’t, but 55 did. I’m now firmly planted on the depressing side of 50, with fewer years ahead than behind.
So I decided to go on a solo hike for a little soul-searching. I thought a few hours alone in the mountains might spark some insight or inspiration about life. I took a journal to jot down thoughts that popped up during the hike. I’m sharing some of those thoughts now in the hope they help someone else who’s struggling with the transition, as I have.
———- May 31st, 2025
11:30 – A bit of a rough start. Parked and couldn’t find the hat I wanted. Spent 5 minutes tearing the car apart to find it. Really frustrating. I want to turn back already. I’ve been flip-flopping all morning about doing this.
11:43 – I’ve been walking up the same steep road I parked on. The trail should start soon. 10 mins in and shins hurt already. Not good.
11:58 – Road ends at a big parking lot. I must have parked at someone’s house. Probably a family gathering, a lot of cars there. My bad. 20 mins walking uphill and just now hitting the trail.
12:12 – the trail started off kinda steep. Lots and lots of rocks. Big jumps from rock to rock. Still got it!
12:25 – A few hikers have been coming down the trail. Serious hikers, backpacks and poles. They seem pretty jazzed. Must be a good trail. Feeling good now.
12:43 – I remembered long jumps like this are how I ended up having to have back surgery. Dialing it back a little.
12:46 – I’m really starting to sweat now. Its only like 70, I shouldn’t be sweating this much. I had to take off my glasses, they kept slipping down. Annoying as hell.
12:58 – more hikers have passed with backpacks. I realize I have forgotten my backpack… with the water and the snacks. Was too focused on the hat I guess.
1:09 – Funny thing about blurry vision and hiking. Dirt, rocks, and roots all kind of blend together.
1:12 – I forgot the bug-spray
1:21– I wish I had drunk more water this morning.
1:32 – sweating a lot. A LOT. A lot of young people passing me and not sweating at all. I may be too old for this.
1:41 – 4 people at least 10 years older than me just passed. Bastards.
1:44 – a group of nice young people stopped to speak with me. Highschoolers I think. Maybe college.
Very inquisitive young people:
“Are you going to be ok?”
“Do you need water?”
“How many fingers?” – I said 3
I assured them I was ok. “I always look this way. Exhausted and drenched in sweat and ointments.”
I wish I had taken the water. Pride.
2:15 – The rhythmic wheezing is kind of relaxing. Like meditation.
2:23 – Who the hell makes the top of the mountain the steepest? Crawling up rocks
2:39 – Made it! Its amazing up here. It’s a huge flat area. Folks are spread about picnicking. Sandwiches and water. Lots of water. Everyone is drinking. Even the dogs are drinking from puddles. So much drinking. And so many snacks.
2:48 – I lost time for 5-10 minutes. I think I might have passed out when I sat down.
2:52 – Wow! Nice view! Amazing!!
———————————————————————————–
Ok, so I didn’t have any big revelations. But now that I have had time to reflect, I’ve come to accept a few things:
- Near death experiences are a real thing
- Hydration is important
- What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
What does kill you makes you dead.
Choose what you do wisely. - “Rage! Rage against the dying of the light….”
Raging is for young people.
Displaying a strong dislike for the dying light is enough. - Moving forward, going on solo adventures will be supervised (Shannon)
- No matter how alone you think you are in this world, as soon as you get a little gassy someone pops out from around the bend.
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