On conviction and certainty
“I don’t believe in exercise after lunch,” she proclaimed. Proclaimed! Not said. Not suggested. Announced. The scene is from an Agatha Christie movie mystery I watched in the early morning last weekend, “An Appointment with Death“.
The scene was of a group of siblings asking their stepmother if she would like to join them for a walk – presumably after their lunch. The phrase immediately struck me in an odd way. It was not just the sentence but how it was delivered. It was said in such an adamant and profound tone. It wasn’t a “no thank you” or “I would rather not, I’ve just finished eating.” Not even, “No thanks, walking after eating doesn’t agree with me”. No, the response was a statement of “belief”. “I don’t BELIEVE in…” she said. It’s hard to argue with someone’s beliefs regardless of how odd it is. Exercise after lunch? I would like to know the back story there. There could be a whole movie explaining how she came to that “belief”.
It just seemed so out of place. Yet the small band of soon to be walkers didn’t flinch. They acted like this was a perfectly acceptable response to their question. They simply nodded and went on their way.
So why was the response to such an abnormal statement… normal? I realize it was a movie and not real life, but bear with me here. I think it was the authority, the conviction of the statement. It reminded me that when someone speaks with great authority and conviction, people generally accept what they say.
Business leaders, salesmen, politicians, priests, and most definitely trial lawyers use this technique. They know that if you speak loud enough and with great conviction, you are more likely to accept what they are saying as truth. That it is in fact, a fact. Throw in repetition and now you are a next level orator. But as with any skill, it can be used for good or evil. When presented with information delivered with great conviction, replay it without the theatrics and see if it lands any differently.
Many years ago I had an interview for a project that I wasn’t completely qualified for. It was a great project I really wanted. It was work I really loved doing but just didn’t get the opportunity to do that often. The interview was going ok but it was obvious I didn’t quite have the experience they were looking for. Towards the end they asked me what I could tell them that would convince them I was the guy for the job. I literally got on my feet and launched into a speech about how I would learn their business, work closely with the business team, and truly understand what was needed for the solution to be successful. It was all soft skill points for a technical role. I meant every word. I didn’t intentionally get on my feet or speak with passion. I just did it. It was genuine. I got the job and I crushed it.
I wish I could turn that kind of passion on at will. I admire people who can. I have worked with a few people who had experience in theater and they were quite good at “turning it on”. They could be quite good at persuading people in those moments where it was important to. Theater teaches you to be confident, project, to be bold. These are valuable skills. I encourage the young people preparing for their careers to develop these skills, it will serve them well. Perhaps join a theater group.
The line stayed with me because it wasn’t really about exercise or lunch. It was about conviction. About how a sentence, delivered with enough certainty, stops being a preference and starts sounding like a truth.
“I don’t believe in exercise after lunch,” she proclaimed.
And just like that, no one questioned it.
Sometimes how something is said matters more than what’s being said.
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